Your husband sounds wonderful. Thanks for the positive vision of how marriage can be! It's heartening to know it exists. And I totally agree; no-one can make their marriage partner mentally and emotionally invest. It makes me wonder: how often has a Fair Play discussion actually made a struggling marriage into a good one, vs how often has it just illuminated that the dynamics of that marriage are unfair but will not change?
I'm thinking of a friend who had the Fair Play discussion with her husband and it didn't change anything. It definitely made her aware that disparities exist, but it seems her husband is unwilling to change. If you need the discussion in the first place, is your marriage doomed to either continued unfairness or ending? I'm not sure.
So much of love, in any relationship, is just giving a shit, and as you point out, no one can make someone else do this.
I totally agree. This is not a chore-chart or something you can game-ify. It's respect. Thank you.
This is so very well laid out 💜 (and I’m so so so so glad that you have this kind of marriage now!!)
Your husband sounds wonderful. Thanks for the positive vision of how marriage can be! It's heartening to know it exists. And I totally agree; no-one can make their marriage partner mentally and emotionally invest. It makes me wonder: how often has a Fair Play discussion actually made a struggling marriage into a good one, vs how often has it just illuminated that the dynamics of that marriage are unfair but will not change?
I'm thinking of a friend who had the Fair Play discussion with her husband and it didn't change anything. It definitely made her aware that disparities exist, but it seems her husband is unwilling to change. If you need the discussion in the first place, is your marriage doomed to either continued unfairness or ending? I'm not sure.
So much of love, in any relationship, is just giving a shit, and as you point out, no one can make someone else do this.